Promises Fulfilled...

fulfill:
Bring to completion or reality; achieve or realize (something desired, promised, or predicted)

Emory - born 9/28 at 8lbs. 2 oz, 20 inches long - beautiful and perfect in every way.

Thinking of you...

You are always in my thoughts and prayers, sweet child. I think of you so often that sometimes there isn't room for anything else. I wonder when you're coming home to us. I pray that you are safe in your mommy's tummy. I pray that she finds faith in the decisions she has made for you both. More often than not, I just hope and pray that she finds us someday soon. For we are so ready to meet you little one. Keeping my heart open and ready for when you arrive.

Independence Day

Today is the 4th of July. I think that it's interesting that the day America celebrates the breaking of their shackles, is the day I celebrate the putting on of mine.

16 years ago today, Sean and I finally decided that our friendship was something more. I tell ya, it was a day for fireworks and all kinds of epiphanies for sure! I look back to that day so long ago and see the road that we have traveled together. There have been potholes and detours aplenty, but through out it all we have remained steadfast in our commitment to one another.

Looking forward I know that there is something missing. In my mind, I can see a small child holding onto to our fingers as we continue along our life's path. I worry every day about that dream coming true.

Scram Scammers!

I tell ya, I am sick to death with adoption scammers. They sit in wait, like hungry predators, ready to pounce upon unsuspecting potential adoptive parents. They think we are so desperate and overwrought that we will fall for anything and just begin showering them with money for all their pretty lies. I just can't do it anymore.

Some days I am sick to my stomach with grief that I'm not a mom yet. I let these emotions get the better of me at times. I like to think the best of people...but that continually keeps biting me in the ass. I'm just tired of it.

There are some of these emotional terrorists that pop up over and over again. The same sick woman, using other people's names and faces, pictures of another woman's pregnant belly, pictures of another person's child!! Sometimes she only bothers barely changing the story to seem brand new. It's only once you're in a bit too deep that the sneaking suspicions come creeping and crawling up to stick in your throat.

How many times now...? 2, 3, 4 more? At this point, too many to count.
Ah yes, this petty scammer loves me. These people have emotional problems and I seriously wish that more could be done to stop them.

Wishing for a Happily Ever After of My Own

So one of my internet friends is busy in AZ awaiting the birth of her son today. While I am overjoyed at the possibility that their adoption journey may finally have a happy ending, I can't help but feel sad that our own adoption pursuits thus far have proved unfruitful.

It's like this every time. Watching from the sidelines, some strange spectator to the world around me - ever watching everyone else craft their "happily ever afters".

*sigh*

I am trying to remain positive and hopeful. Praying that one day someone will look at us from the sidelines, with a weird cacophony of happiness and envy, as we greet our son or daughter. I keep on saying to myself one day that will be us. One day, we too will be successful.

I just wish that it were today.
Still hopeful that 2010 is our year.

A Miscarriage of the Heart

The past month has been rife with ups and downs. Smooshed between happy things such as a dear friend's wedding and spending Memorial Day with family firmly sit another two failed adoption opportunities. Only this time it was so much harder. I am still grieving nearly a month later.

During the month of May, we saw over 10 states and traveled over 3200 miles in pursuit of adopting.

Traveling down to Tampa, Florida we met baby boy B and his family. He was spending his first month of life in NICU due to undisclosed drug addiction. Despite it all, we fell instantly in love with this little man. We were determined that we could make a wonderful life for him. So innocent and helpless our hearts raced at the thought that he could be ours. In the end, his parents asked us for a payment of $50-75K for the opportunity. As you well know, baby-selling is not legal in this, or other, countries. We simply could not compromise our ethics and morals. With our hearts breaking, we said goodbye and walked away - on Mother's Day.

Fast forward less than two weeks...
We received a late night call from a mom in Michigan that we had talked to earlier in April. We were not chosen at that time, as she decided to move forward with another family. She was induced at the hospital and believed that the family would be there to take their daughter home. Well, her chosen family decided to move forward with another situation due to some communication issues.

After talking, she told us that she "wanted us to come and get our baby." We were finally chosen. We packed up our lives in preparation for staying in MI for 2-3 weeks and drove the 15 hours. We scrambled to locate adoption professionals that could help us as we waited for contact with the mom. We had no additional phone contact, and only late night emails. We knew that she was busy caring for a newborn so we didn't sweat it too much. We just tried to keep making lists and plans.

We received an email asking for our lawyer's contact information so we "could get the ball rolling." We thought that this was finally what we'd been waiting for.

The next morning, our lawyer called. She had contacted him, only to say that she'd had a change of heart. No additional information. Nothing. We were left reeling, blank and utterly empty.

We had already received photos of this beautiful little girl. We'd told our friends and family. Mom and April were prepared to set up a nursery with a moment's notice. April had even gone shopping for her "niece". The hardest thing was disappointing everyone else.

To make matters worse, I found out accidentally a few days later that she didn't have a change of heart about her adoption plan. She had a change of heart about us. She placed her daughter with another family. I cannot tell you how hurt I am. Although I know it's not a competition I do not see how we could ever stack up to world travelers and a husband that looks like a male model. It's an even worse punch to the gut.

So here we are again...no closer than we were, and worse for wear.
I don't know what's worse. Losing a child growing in your womb or the loss of one growing in your heart. With a broken heart and a bruised ego, I pick myself up, and get back on the horse. Still hoping and praying that 2010 will be our year that our 7+ year journey to build our family finally happens.

Yes, there are lessons to be learned in all of life's trials.
So, I guess I can always find some comfort in that.

Hoping for Rainbows after the Rain

I've had a couple of rough months lately. The never ending roller coaster of emotions that the adoption journey has brought just seems to get harder and harder as time marches on. I never would have imagined that it would be this hard.

I want to be a mom. Yeah, I wonder if I'll even be good at it, but that doesn't stop me from desperately desiring to try. I've never been a patient person. But, I think I am getting an extra helping in lessons of patience right now. And it sucks...fiercely sucks.

It seems that there are a lot of things all piling onto the heap. I feel like time is running out sometimes and I am left behind. I will be 35 in less than a week. I always thought that I'd have my family by now. If I were able to fill my life with fun, adventure and travel, maybe it would feel less empty. But I can't do that.

Right now, I feel caged. There's always too much to do, and no time or money to do it with. So, I'm stuck.

The other week we were driving to dinner right before the sun was setting. There was a lovely vertical rainbow in the sky ahead of us. Earlier that day, I had just heard about an opportunity for us to be presented as a potential family for an expectant mom here in South Carolina. We would have been 1 or 2 families presented.

It sounded so good. So promising. I was even hopeful. It was a *real* shot. The first real shot in a long while. Not another one of these emotional terrorist adoption scammers that seem to like us so well.

I wanted to say that we'd do anything to make it happen, but it wasn't possible.
The costs: $27,200. Reasonable when you look at so many other adoption situations, but still entirely too high for us to commit.

We had to say no...all the while, my heart was screaming yes.
A small ember of hope burning out before it had the chance to flame.

I wonder if there is actually an affordable situation out there for us. I know that we could go through the DSS foster system, but I am just so scared of what might happen. So much red tape. So many hoops to jump through. Just imagining it makes my head spin.

I don't know what's going to happen.
I just hope that next year, as I blog about my upcoming 36th birthday, I pray that I won't be having these same feelings. I will be positive. I will be hopeful. I will strive to find my rainbow after the rain. I will hold my child...and I pray, it's one day soon because if it "rains" anymore I fear that I might just drown.

Ever Have One of Those Days?

Today has been one of those days.
- A day where nothing seems to go right.
- A day when you feel terrible - physically, emotionally - and it gets compounded by all the little irritations that find their way into the day.
- A day where the only thing you want to do is hide under the covers, get a little more sleep, and try again tomorrow (* but it's impossible due to a sore throat and sinus issues)

Maybe it's just the beginnings of the hormonal mess that is PMS.
Yet another nagging reminder of all that's broken and wrong.

I guess trying again tomorrow doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.

It's About That Time Again...

It seems that I have this really bad habit of allowing long periods of time to pass without posting to this blog. I can't say that I have any valid reason for this. Except maybe that life is what happens while you're busying making other plans.

I spent some time reading over my past posts here this morning. It was interesting to see how my thoughts and feelings have waxed and waned since that first post in 2003.

All in all, the past year has been much like all the others.

We are still trying to adopt our first child. Leads have been few and far between since we officially started the journey to adopt in 2008. Failed matches and emotional scams during that time have been both frustrating and heartbreaking. Those feelings of "maybe this could happen" so often turn into "it's never gonna". It's been an emotional roller coaster that has left my head spinning and my heart aching.

Yet, I try to remain positive and keep the faith. Because we never know where or how our children will come to us, I continue to spread our adoption wishes to everyone I meet and come in contact with.

We did finally update our adoption website and refreshed our adoption profile book. Feel free to check them out. If you know of anyone considering making an adoption plan for their child, please feel free to pass our information along. We'd be so grateful.

I am hoping to find the time to post more often.
I have found that along the path of infertility and adoption there is a great need to get one's emotions out in a healthy manner. I don't know if anyone wants to tread this path with me, but I welcome you as a companion through my blog. Adoption, becoming a mom, and all the trials and tribulations of that process are sure to take center stage. I'm still opinionated, feisty, and at times angry & potty mouthed. So, I hope you forgive me in advance for that because I ain't about to apologize! :-)

Contemplative

I am finding myself a bit contemplative and retrospective today. Not quite sure exactly what it is that I am feeling, but decided to spill my guts about it anyways.

Often I do feel like the invisible person, this digital ghost in the machine.
Am I just some faceless wonder that pops up from the ether and just as quickly crawls back into her lonely existence? Always failing to connect with the people she wants to connect with the most?

I am really at an impasse at the moment.
I am beginning to feel that I spent so much time cultivating what I thought were true friendships throughout my life that I now find myself cut off and removed from everything I thought I knew. I am in need of a life raft or something because I am sinking fast.

The concept of friendship seemed so much simpler when one is young. It's the confidant that you spend hours talking on the phone with, rehashing all the minor victories or atrocities of each day. All those moment by moment by-plays that make up our lives. Friends are those that you hang out with, laughing, carrying on with - there was no pretension, no complexes. And with relatively few exceptions, no neuroses.

I think that I fostered what I thought would be "friends to the end" relationships that I failed to look at the bigger picture. And now, I am paying the price for that.

It's hard for me at the moment to even say that and I can't hardly believe that it's what's in my mind. I know people are busy. I can relate. It's just that I want someone to make some time for me in their lives too.

I find myself reaching out to people (even people that I didn't know all that well in high school, some I know could care less to hear from me - the token, quiet fat chick they barely noticed in their classes). I guess I still carry some vain hope that something will stick. I am truly in need of having someone I can call 'friend' again.

I can't tell you how many "I'd really love to reconnect with you" emails I have sent that have garnered not a single response. Do you have any idea at how sad, hurt, and yes, angry, that makes me at times?

I don't know what the answer is.
It's not that I haven't been able to reconnect with anyone, because I have. Through Myspace and/or Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with family and old dear friends. The quality of those relationships are in no way diminished by what I am feeling now. I hope noone takes it that way.

I guess I just want more. I want to be able to open my email and see messages from real people, not just spambots trying to sell me pet nail trimmers, penile enhancements, drugs from Mexico or wonder shammys. I want someone to actual respond to the emails that I write them. I think that is very little to ask for. You know, it would really be nice for someone to email me first and ask how I am doing and what's going on in my life.

Mostly it just seems that everyone is just too busy to care. I am beginning to feel like it's the whole damn word that's turning into a big 'ol blob of apathy. Am I to harden my heart and not give a damn too?

I don't think I can do that, even though everyday that it continues like this my heart aches more and more and more.

If nothing else, I hope that this post prompts you, my reader, to reach out and touch someone. Send an email. Write a letter. Give a call. Just connect with someone. As a society, I don't think that we will survive if we don't learn that connections and relationships are all that's left when we come to the end of our journey.

It's Been Awhile...I'm Still Breathing

It's been way too long...the summer has brought about many wide and varied changes for us.
I will try to fill in the gaps. Unfortunately, I find that I post alot of my "bloggy" thoughts to my MySpace page these days.

If you want to check it out for the complete story, here's my MySpace page.

Adoption Roller Coaster

We have had two failed matches and a couple of possibles that never went anywhere. The short version is that we are still looking. But here are the details of our most recent try...

Sean and I *almost* became parents the beginning of October, but it just wasn't meant to be this go around.

We received a call about 7:30 September 30th. I was actually napping when Sean got the call from Julie at the crisis pregnancy center in Anderson. We were asked if we would be willing to travel to Anderson for a noon appointment the next day. We went into frantic production mode - called work, packed for at least a week just in case, printed out new copies of our profile book since we had access to a color printer, gathered necessary computer equipment so we could work from there, called family to start the prayers going - and basically ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. :-)

We got up at 5:00 am (after no sleep, ya know..) gathered all of our various stuffs, Meko and jumped in the car. We had about 15 minutes to drop Meko off at mom's before our appointment time. We *barely* made it.

We finally got a chance to meet Julie in person and talk with her before Bobbie Rae arrived. Bobbie Rae's pastor's wife arrived for support a little bit after we got there, but Bobbie Rae was running a little bit late - but the important thing is that she did show up. That was halfway there. :-)

We talked for about 2 hours. It seemed to go really well. After a rocky start due to severe nerves and emotions on both parts, I think that we got along well. I felt that if we did enter into the adoptive relationship together that we could have been a successful team. She was a lovely young woman. I would have liked the opportunity to get to know her a bit better. She and Sean seem to have had similar upbringing. I think it was a good thing that she was able that sometimes you can break the cycle and rise above a bad situation. As much as I wanted the opportunity to parent her child, I mostly wanted to embrace her, encourage her, and help her to do the same for herself and her children.

I was concerned that she might be suffering from post partum depression. Her daughter was 7 weeks old and we had been told that she was having some issues bonding. She had contemplated an adoption plan during the pregnancy but was discouraged from following through. We were told that her mom was a controlling force in her life. Because she is currently living with and relying on her mom due to the recent loss of her job, I can understand where some of that fear and uncertainty comes from.

As Sean and I were leaving he said to me that he felt that she would either place with us, or not at all. She was on her way to an appointment with the lawyer for relinquishment paperwork when she decided to continue to parent this child.

All in all, I think that this was a good experience for us. It was like the worst job interview you can imagine....but at least we got in some practice and can avoid a few missteps for the next time we meet with an expectant mom.

Hopefully, the next time we will actually bring home a baby.

So we are still looking. Thanks for all the prayer, support and words of encouragement. If you hear of any potential situations in your own families, amongst your friends or coworkers, please keep us in mind. It's all about the networking because you never know where the child God has in mind will come from. :-)

Work
sux...that is all.
Here are more thoughts on that...

Our last day working from the offices was approximately August 25. We are now officially telecommuters. By then, most of the furniture and all the chairs had been sold. So, that left very few options for working from the building. The lease was up and the keys turned in right after Labor Day. Mind you, during this last crunch time of selling stuff, coordinating sales efforts, meeting people after hours and on weekends to pick up crap - Sean and I got stuck with it all while the former boss went on vacation (for the second time in less than a month!) - we were also trying to work hard for the new guys. Needless to say, a house divided cannot stand. I say a house divided and given to-do lists a mile long from too many people is likely to commit homicide. But that might just be my opinion. Who knows...

So...you might be asking yourselves what happened to all the crap that didn't sell at the office. Well, you're talking to the newly proud recipient of a house full of random shit with no place to put it. Imagine if you will computer parts, servers, computer guts, computer carcasses, file cabinets, and other various who-knows-whats-its lying all about a 1900sq ft home. A 1900 sqft home that was already filled to the brim before moving in more stuff that once was contained in 2000 sqft of office space, I might add. Ta-da...you now have a grumpy woman who feels smothered by all this stuff that's not hers, not her responsibility, and she feels as if has no say in the matter. You are also looking at a potential danger zone.

And a danger zone it has become.
Monday night after working an exceptionally long day (just one of the "perks" of working from home includes a work day never seems to end...they don't sell you THAT in the brochure!) I retreated downstairs to heat up some dinner.

Low and behold, as soon as I get the pot bubbling on the stove I hear this tremendous crash and noises that indicate that something terrible and sinister has happened upstairs. Now, I am accustomed to various toe stubbings, finger pinching, and the random something fell on my foot type of crashes. The expletives heard in those cases are pretty common, aren't typically that loud, and do not last beyond a reasonable 5-7 seconds. this was definitely more.

I ran...yes literally ran upstairs to see if my husband was still alive and had all his appendages. Because there is so much stuff in our office at the moment, we are treading upon tiny goat paths for walking and accessability. One of the chair mats had rolled up and tripped him up. Because there was too much stuff in the way and on the table he was unable to brace himself for the impact of a fall. The fall hit him square in the chest, right under his heart and ribs. By the time I got upstairs he was having trouble breathing, unable to really talk well, and said that he believed he had broken some ribs or worse. Within 5 minutes he started to go into shock - trembling, chills, anxious, still having problems breathing, and severe pain when doing so. It was scary.

We went to the ER. We spent about 5 hours total there. Took forever to get triaged in. I think it was more than an hour and a half before anyone even asked if he was bleeding or had any holes anywhere.

Ultimately, the xrays showed no fractures and his EKG was good. The gave him some pain meds about 4.5 hours after we'd been there. He was hurting so bad that he had to stand up that entire time, unable to sit down at all. We were both starved to death by the time we got home.

So, we've had to work everyday since then (although he had a dr. note for 72 hours) He hasn't been able to take his pain meds as he needs to because he is unable to work on them. It's a catch-22. Life has been so fun around here with a hurting, mad, grumpy achy, and pretty much disgusted husband on my hands. And of course, I'm stuck here because I have no escape. It truly would be best if I could have just kept him caged up and tranquilized him with some meds every few hours for a couple days just to get him to heal quicker.

Ah, well...what else can one do?

Personally, I am just exhausted. It has been a few long hard months and a few too many bad days all stung together like a strand of hellish Christmas lights. I feel like we've been nonstop since February. No vacation. No time to ourselves. No time just to decompress, catch up and start living again. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up without cracking.

I am trying to put on a good facade for the new bosses, but I am just so damned tired. Sean and I need to get away for a while. And although on one hand they say "sounds like you need to take a couple of days" in the very next breath it's all "you need to do this, and this needs to be done, and this, and this, and this". You're already behind before you ever start. I don't know what the solution is...or if I do, I know that it wouldn't be the best option considering my current goals I at present: continuing to eat regular meals and having a house to live in chief among those currently.


On the upshoot, I guess despite all this crud, it does keep my mind occupied from the other disappointments and frustrations that weigh heavy on my heart at times. I don't have to think about the little envelope of ultrasound pictures on the mantle that I still can't bring myself to throw away - or the lack of phone calls on any new adoption leads.

For all the things I don't have, I still appreciate the blessings that I do continue to enjoy...I just wish that I could learn to be a happier, more content person in the meantime.

It's Been Awhile...

Yep, it certainly has.
A lot has changed. Yet, so much has stayed the same.

1. I am still no closer to understanding the meaning of life than I ever was.

2. I am still not a mother - although, I guess you could say that I'm much closer to being so than ever before. Currently going through the home study for a domestic adoption. We're working with the Anderson Crisis Pregnancy Center. Presumably, we are matched with an expectant mom. If all goes well, we might be bringing home a little sweetling in July. I can't really dare to dream that it will happen, however. It seems like the minute I get my hopes up everything begins to crash down. I want to believe, and I do that *someday* it will happen. I just don't know if I can believe that it might actually happen so soon. Keep the prayers going, guys! We definitely need them.

3. I am still dissatisfied with large segments of my life. Career making up the largest segment of that. I think that I will still be here until I am old and gray. Despite attempting to escape, my options have once again run dry. I just want to become a stay at home mom already. I'm ready to try that career on for size.

4. I will never understand why I am invisible to some people, even when I try try to try to be a part of their lives. My blog posts are ignored. Some of my "friends" on MySpace don't even return my emails. I honestly don't ask for much. Just a email in return for those that I send. A simple phone call ever few months with someone on the other end actually engaged and listening to what I have to say (not tuning out the second I start telling what's going on in my life). Right now, I am probably in need of support more than ever. And I don't feel that I am getting it from anyplace that I look. It makes me both sad and angry because I like to think (even if that is in error) that I am there for everyone else.

5. I do still love my husband. Tomorrow will be 8 years of matrimonial bliss. Yay, us! We've been very stressed for the last couple of months. I genuinely believe that a vacation, a change of pace and scenery would do us good. We desperately need some time to reconnect. Right now, I think that we are both very frazzled with pressure, external pressures, and newly added pressures with a change in our job situations that we've not been the best of partners as of late. I just want us to get back on the same path and enjoy each other again.

6. I had to rehome my sugar gliders in April. The house is quieter. I no longer have to make glider-sanctioned trips to the grocery store for supplies, but I do miss the little fuzzbutts.

I don't think that things have changed a whole lot - but looking over this, I guess they have. So many things are still in the planning and preparation stage that I don't have anything concrete to report. Maybe with my next post I'll be able to post pics of a new daughter. Fingers crossed!

The Face Transformer

See the face of the future with The Face Transformer. Rather interesting little diversion. Upload your pic and transform your face into a myriad of different styles & races. Enjoy!

365 Days of Cheese

This year-long odyssey through the world of cheese comes to us through the eyes of Kirk Samuels. If you aren't lactose intolerant, I invite you to join Kirk as he brings us a cheese per day. Discover a new favorite - or just try something a little different at your next cocktail party. Don't forget to have a little wine with your cheese!

365 Days of Cheese

Faces in Places

Faces in Places
A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places.

Museum of Food Anomalies

The Museum of Food Anomalies™
An online exhibition of the Art of Regular Food Gone Horribly Wrong. The galleries are updated as new works arrive; visitors are encouraged to submit their own anomalies.

If My Life Were A Horse...I'd Shoot It.

Alas, life intrudes while we pursue other pleasures.

Things have been interesting lately - as they often are. In fact, if my life were a horse, I'd have to shoot it. One minute we're rolling along fine, then BLAM! We hit a brick wall. A brick wall, rife with monetary consequences and trauma culminating in a long recovery period.

Things haven't been all bad, I suppose.
I did get to see my best friend of 22 years walk down the aisle and marry her soul mate. She did make such a beautiful bride. I teased her all weekend about being a Bridezilla. She was a bit of a regimented time-nazi, but otherwise things went rather smoothly. Considering the fact that she works long hours and spends her time between Anderson and Atlanta each week, I think that she pulled off a beautiful wedding without too many tears and freak-outs.

The ceremony was sweet and poignant. Sean and I participated in the wedding party. Seeing as how we had a hand in bringing these two together, I felt that it was a very special honor to be asked to stand up there with them. I could tell that the world disappeared for them as they said their vows to one another. It was especially moving for me. Two people couldn't have deserved one another more. I wish them many years of happiness and bliss.

Unfortunately...(you know there is always an unfortunately when talking about my life) Sean and I are dealing with some issues with the house in Anderson (as if that's anything new).

While I was up for my friend's bridal shower two weeks ago, the pipe in the upstairs bathroom ruptured, spilling over 4,000 gallons of water throughout the house. All the floors had to be pulled up, the ceilings downstairs, and other sheet rock had to be removed. The water totally ruined the 2,000 sq ft of new hardwood flooring we had purchased. Oh, and it shorted out fans and electrical sockets too. It has been a total mess. Now, there are things that we have to fix that we had no intention of doing.

Insurance did come through - although barely because the house was technically vacant. The damage was estimated at nearly $15,000 - they gave us $10,000 for the repairs. I think that we've already spent about $800. Can you see where this is going? Even doing most of it on our own (well, Sean all by his lonesome since I am nearly worthless at this kind of thing), we will still be in the hole after it's all said and done.

Lucky us, huh?

We are also dealing with more family issues.
Mother-in-law waited until we were packed up and getting ready to leave before showing up at the house. Now...it's not like there's anything in there that's hers. After all the mess previously, I personally see no reason for her to step foot back into the house, but anyway. After being snubbed when I tried to give her a hug, I left and went back over to my parent's house. It was too hot to deal with that. Pissed her off, but oh well...I'm not standing outside sweating for no reason.

For some reason, she proceeds to conduct a walk-through over the whole house. Mind you, we purchased this house in 2005 at foreclosure auction so she wouldn't be homeless -and- she stopped paying us rent and abandoned the property, with all her stuff in it, last fall. We've been left holding the bag here. At this point it is truly a trash bucket house. Considering that all of our savings has been stolen, whatever equity and profit we can get out of this house is all we have in the world. We are looking to protect it with everything we've got.

It was like she was casing the joint to see what we had gotten accomplished/what we had in there. Sean said she even unlocked the front door and conveniently "forgot" to lock it back. Now, why would someone do that?

Because we were significantly delayed from leaving when we anticipated, we got up at 4:30 am the next morning in order to drive back home in order to hit work at 9.

We got a call later that afternoon because strangers were trying to break down the back door in order to remove a fridge from inside the house. That caused all kinds of anger and alarm. Needless to say, we were very pissed. Eventually, we got it settled.

So that's the quick breakdown on our crazy/sexy life. Ain't it grand? ;-)

Rantasaurus Rex

I've been known to rant a time or two in my life. Well, okay...more than a time or two.
In honor of my own history with the rant, let me introduce you to Rantasaurus Rex. I think you will enjoy the humor and vitrolic fervor that only fellow ranters can provide. I hope you enjoy - or not you filthy worthless piece of crap loser who isn't even worth the effort to toss my spittle upon...love ya! ;-)

Harry Potter Mania

Well, as anyone not living under a rock can attest, Harry Potter mania is firmly underway. With the release of the seventh & final book of the highly popular series mere days away, plot leaks, potential spoilers, pirated copies, and other attempts have run rampant across the internet.

And it's not just fandom sites and forums this time either.

Even the NY Times published an early spoiler filled review to ruin the experience for others. They purchased a copy of the novel that had been accidentally put on the shelf at a local book seller.

Author J.K. Rowling is furious, as she had previously made numerous pleas for early readers/reviewers not to release salient plot points prior to the worldwide release on July 21st.

My personal spin:
In certain situations, I have been known to seek out spoilers. As is the case with my favorite television show Heroes on NBC. The massive first season launch, immediate connection to characters, and the long breaks fueled an intense desire to know where the story was going. With all the wild theories and speculation, gaining a bit of perspective was almost as important as watching the show.

I see the spoilers for a book - especially a series already six volumes deep - and I can't help but think that there is a certain malice to the way many people are attempting to spread spoilers.

For instance, take a look at this video clip occurring during a midnight release for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

How incredibly mean is that?

I've tried really hard not to pay attention to the spoilers this go around. Yet, even as I attempt to avoid them, they are still creeping into places that you would think they could be avoided. I'm sure that by the time my copy arrives from Amazon.com on Saturday my brain will be in spoiler overload. It's not much fun when you know which characters die, and which characters turn out to be something you never imagined.

In any case, hopefully I will be able to seclude myself from the world this weekend and enjoy each juicy page of the Potter-verse one last time. Happy reading, Potterheads!

"All I Can Say Is That My Life Is Pretty Plain..."

Well, this week is off to a good start.
I am racing towards a deadline to produce many, many pages of documentation (up to 30 so far) for a large proposal. It's due Wednesday night at the latest. I guess we're about halfway there - but what remains is all of the "pull it out your butt" type of fluff. I seriously don't have the energy for this right now.

To make matters worse, I have been feeling not so great this week. I haven't been sleeping well and I have had no time with my husband in weeks. And I do mean no time. We've both been incredibly busy - and he's also been gone quite a bit. I was only away from the desk for a total of 2 hours all day yesterday. Now, my back is hurting.

Last night, I had to take a pill at 11pm and be at the doctor's at 8am for lab work. Once there I found out that Quest Diagnostics, the lab inside my doc's office, is not a "preferred provider" for my crappy insurance plan. I have used the plan approximately 3 times and each time some I have gotten some level of denial once they see the lovely gray insurance card in my hand. The test would have been about $400 out of pocket. Uh...no. Where's the nearest preferred provider? Ok. Thanx.

We had to go down the street to a more appropriate lab.
At least it wasn't halfway across the city.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a dermatologist for a second opinion. I have a rash on my arms, shoulders, and legs that is probably psoriasis. It's aggravating and looks horrible. My prior dermatologist ignored it. Now, it's significantly worse.

My mom has been a nervous nelly about these tests and appointments. I believe that she has called me everyday since I found out that I had to have it done. Maybe things will come out okay and she can not worry so much.

I will have to go back to the doctor on Tuesday for results. It's been a full week already and it's only Tuesday. I wonder what other fun and interesting adventures await. Oh boy! I am having so much fun I can hardly stand it. ;-)