Life has become a long endless series of waiting. Waiting for this, waiting for that - everything getting pushed off to some point in the future. I am beginning to feel like all the things I've been waiting for (a vacation, a family, all the loose ends to get tied up) will never happen. I am feeling incredibly moody and depressed - frustrated and anxious. And, I just really don't know what to do to shake it.
My husband looks at this as making progress - as he spends countless hours trying to make money to reduce our debt and pay our way in the world. Problem lies in the fact that much of his time goes uncompensated. There's always more waiting. Waiting on the people to pay, waiting for him to finish the task so they can pay. It never really seems to end. And I just don't see the progress. Heck, he turned in a couple thousand dollars work of work back in February and he still hasn't gotten paid for all of it yet.
Of course, I'm just a fucking nag if I say anything about it. Running over the same old ground over and over. Still more waiting for things to come together so we actually can make a little progress.
As I said - angry and frustrated. Maybe I just just "wait" a while longer and post a more constructive post some other time. Blech!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Friday, August 04, 2006
It's Friday...But It Feels Like A Monday.
It's Friday again. Thank goodness. Sometimes the week can't fly by fast enough.
At this point in the week all I can think about is spending a little extra time wrapped up in my blankets on Saturday morning/afternoon. Especially, today. I have a monsterous headache and it's pouring rain outside. I can hear the gentle thunder and the pitter of raindrops on my windowsill. Being at work under these conditions must qualify for cruel and unusual punishment, right?
I am also a bit depressed. My big fat fluffy sugar glider Bael crossed over the Rainbow Bridge yesterday. I found him on the bottom of the cage yesterday morning right before I left for work. I honestly thought he was already gone - but he was still breathing. I stayed home so I could say goodbye and offer him some palative care. I held him for 4 hours, keeping him warm and comfortable. He died in my hands. I will miss him so.
He was the only sugar glider the was affectionate. In fact, I think he was the only one that honestly cared about me one way or another. Always quick with kisses, I loved reaching my hand in the sleeping pouch just to get one.
The three gliders that are left really don't care for me much. Two of them bite me. The other just runs away when I try to pet her. I am considering finding a more appropriate home for them now that Bael is gone.
I know that sounds awful. As if I adopted these "kids" and now I want to give them back when it's no longer fun. I've been a glider mommy for more than 6 years. It's been interesting. It's been fun. But, it's also been expensive and hard at times. I do love these little buggers. So, I am so conflicted.
*sigh*
At this point in the week all I can think about is spending a little extra time wrapped up in my blankets on Saturday morning/afternoon. Especially, today. I have a monsterous headache and it's pouring rain outside. I can hear the gentle thunder and the pitter of raindrops on my windowsill. Being at work under these conditions must qualify for cruel and unusual punishment, right?
I am also a bit depressed. My big fat fluffy sugar glider Bael crossed over the Rainbow Bridge yesterday. I found him on the bottom of the cage yesterday morning right before I left for work. I honestly thought he was already gone - but he was still breathing. I stayed home so I could say goodbye and offer him some palative care. I held him for 4 hours, keeping him warm and comfortable. He died in my hands. I will miss him so.
He was the only sugar glider the was affectionate. In fact, I think he was the only one that honestly cared about me one way or another. Always quick with kisses, I loved reaching my hand in the sleeping pouch just to get one.
The three gliders that are left really don't care for me much. Two of them bite me. The other just runs away when I try to pet her. I am considering finding a more appropriate home for them now that Bael is gone.
I know that sounds awful. As if I adopted these "kids" and now I want to give them back when it's no longer fun. I've been a glider mommy for more than 6 years. It's been interesting. It's been fun. But, it's also been expensive and hard at times. I do love these little buggers. So, I am so conflicted.
*sigh*
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